A wolf she wants, a wolf she gets
by Wolfkins
Summary: Ash wants a pup, Fenrir, now a prisoner of Azkaban owes her a life debt. Ash doesn't want a relationship, just a pup, Fen will be debt free, a deal is struck. Or is it? For the first time ever this lonely wolf decides he wants more than just a rut & when push comes to shove even the prison walls can't keep him from her. Hello backwards love story. SMUT, consider yourself warned.R&R
1. Chapter 1

"Come again?" Fenrir Greyback huffed, staring incredulously at the witch sitting across the abused wooden table from him.

Ash smiled wryly. She'd known the werewolf would be blinded sided, shocked, whatever you wanted to call it, but that didn't make it any easier to say it once, let alone twice. But there was no way she was bailing on this, she'd spent a year now toiling over the decision and working up the courage.

"You heard me." she clasped her hands over her lap in an attempt to keep all her extremities from shaking.

He'd heard her alright but he most definitely hadn't heard her correctly. Fenrir hadn't known what to think when a visitor had been announced, hadn't had a one in the past year. Nearly all of his pack had been slaughtered during the final battle, the others had retreated to gods knew where and he had no other family to speak of. Fenrir himself would have succumbed to his injuries shortly after the battle if it hadn't been for her. Still, considering all he would have been less surprised to see the dark lord than her sitting across from him in the somber visitation room. He remembered her distinctly, her fiery red hair, the smattering of freckles on her nose and cheeks, the sadness in her big green eyes. That had been over a year ago and now suddenly she was there before Fenrir, the sadness replaced by a forced hardness. The wolf rested his arms on the table, as far as his restraints would allow, and leaned in a bit closer.

"There's no way I heard you correctly, especially since I don't even know your name."

"Ashling." she supplied, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear with a trembling hand.

"Ashling." Fenrir repeated, rolling it around in his head. "Tell me again."

The witch sighed inwardly, knowing that she could very well leave Azkaban rejected and embarrassed, no closer to her dream. Despite the circumstances of his imprisonment, Ashling was at the werewolf's mercy and her future hung in the balance.

"You, Mr. Greyback owe me a life debt and I would like to call it in, in the form of a baby." she repeated in her soft irish lilt.

He honestly hadn't believed he'd heard her correctly but it turned out that he had. Ashling met his hard gaze, pale cheeks flushed with embarrassment and uncertainty, but for better or worse she was committed. She had never, ever intended to be "paid back" for her efforts, she'd thought only of saving his life at the time. But the past year had seen her becoming increasingly desperate and Fenrir Greyback was the answer, the key. He would have no interest in the child and regardless, was incarcerated for life. Fenrir would be free of the debt and Ash would have the child she'd always dreamt of.

Fenrir blinked at the woman for a good long time, trying to discern if this was just a silly bugger or if she was for real. Who in their right mind would want the offspring of a werewolf deatheater turned prisoner? He could make a list of women that _didn't _want his pups.

"You _do _realize _what _I am, don't you?"

"I know all about you and believe it or not, this is all about _what _you are. I want a werewolf child." she told him firmly, salty tears pricking at the backs of her eyes. It wasn't just what she wanted, it was _all _she wanted.

"Why?" was the only word Fenrir could form after more useless blinking.

Honestly it would be a relief to not be in debt to anyone, especially so serious a debt. It was his first, only and hopefully last, something he'd considered shameful for a creature of his stature. And quite frankly Azkaban was sucking the life out of him, for the first time he could recall, the wolf was pretty lonely. With that thought, his steely eyes drifted down to her legs, thin yet toned, visible from the knee down and he unconsciously licked his lips. The act wasn't lost on Ashling and she knew it was now or never. Pushing whatever pride and shame she had left aside, she leaned forward, putting one elbow on her knees to give the wolf an eye full of her ample cleavage.

"Are you saying you don't want me?" she asked, blinking innocently and giving him a little pout.

Fenrir laughed huskily, eyes morphing from steel to yellow and back again as they took in the bait. He wanted her and badly, he was hard and thrumming with desire, had been since she announced her wants.

"I think we both know that's not true." he rasped, shifting a little in his chair. "I can't support this child, clearly, so what is it you want from me for it?" There was trickery in this offer, there had to be. Otherwise it was just too good to be true.

Ash smiled seductively and sauntered around to his side of the table, letting her fingers trail up his right arm and around his broad shoulder on her way to his back. From behind she began massaging his shoulders and leaned down to place a kiss on his earlobe.

"I want nothing more than for you to rut me," she breathed in the hollow of his ear, "until your pup grows inside me. Nothing more, nothing less."

Fenrir's eyes practically rolled back in his head as her hot breath sent shivers down his spine and imagined himself doing just that. It had been far too long since he'd succumbed to the charms of a woman and the temptress behind him had more than most. Ash's lips curved into a smile when she saw his nose begin to twitch and slid her hands down to his chest.

"I'm in heat, you can smell it, can't you Fenrir?"

The wolf stifled a moan when Ashling nibbled his earlobe and slowly turned his head towards her. He dove at her lips with a growl but she didn't flinch or back away as he'd expected her to, instead she accepted his kiss and quickly deepened it, fingers working their way into his unkempt hair. Her teeth tugged at his lower lip as they parted and Fenrir wished he wasn't so restricted by the chains on his wrists that kept him attached to the floor. He was pulsing and throbbing and would have killed to throw the little red head down on the table and fuck her proper. Ash worked her way around him and ducked beneath the chains holding his wrists together, barely an arms width of room to spread them, to perch on his lap. Their eyes locked for a long moment until his were drawn downwards by her fingers unbuttoning her black blouse. Ever so slowly she pulled it off, revealing a low cut, lacy red bra, fuck he loved the color red. A low, rolling growl erupted from his chest as her fingers slowly undid the front clasp. Fenrir's heart was pounding in his chest as she pulled the clasp apart and stopped, with a teasing little smile as he drank in the curves of her breasts, nipples just barely visible beneath the lace. But he was no longer in the mood for games, Ashling had awoken his wolf and it was famished.

Fenrir grabbed her elbows and pulled them backwards, causing her bra to part completely and reveal her milky white breasts to him. His hands roughly pulled her in for a deep, breathtaking kiss and she moaned softly, making his cock twitch beneath her firm arse. Fenrir kissed and licked his way down her neck and shoulder and down to her breast, growling greedily when she arched her back to give him better access. Ashling squirmed in his lap, the feeling of his rough tongue on her nipple and his hard cock far more enticing than she'd imagined. Gods, she wasn't supposed to want him but she badly did. She'd practiced everything she was going to do and say, been prepared for different scenarios or rejections. But Ash wasn't the least bit prepared for her reaction to the giant beast that was Fenrir and it was both frightening and thrilling at the same time. He was far from clean but beyond the smell of an unwashed body was the alluring scent of the wolf, robust and earthy. It made her want to cling to him and never let go. Ash gasped in surprised pleasure when the wolf bit down hard on her breast, nails digging into his forearms. Fenrir sat back to admire the trickle of blood trailing down her flesh, before lapping it up, yellow orbs looking up at her deviously.

"Now." he hissed, lifting his arms for her to stand.

Excitement and heat tingled its way down Ash's belly and into her pelvis as she watched Fenrir rip into his pants to free his large, erect member. In reply she kicked off her heels and wriggled out of her panties. His rough paws reached out to caress her thighs and pulled her skirt up to reveal the object of his intense desire. Faster than she would have cared to admit, Ashling slipped back under his muscled arms and positioned herself over his throbbing cock. The wolf's hands dug into her hips, pulling the little temptress down onto his lap, thrusting inside her hard and fast. They moaned together as he stretched her tight canal, hands pushing her hips down so that she took every inch of his thick rod.

"Ohhhh fuck." Fenrir groaned at the feeling of her wet walls hugging him tightly.

Ash leaned into his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck, legs weaving around the chair legs to hold herself tightly to his lap as Fenrir thrust hard. His arms encircled her waist possessively, he couldn't bring himself to care why she was there or what she hoped to gain, suddenly all Fenrir wanted was to make Ashling moan his name as he came inside her.

All too soon the pressure was building up in his lower stomach and his grip tightened, claws digging into the soft flesh of her hips.

"Say my name." he growled, like the feral, unraveling beast he was and thrust hard. Barely giving her a chance to respond, Fenrir leaned in for a rough kiss which she returned hungrily. Ashling bit the wolf's lip hard and moaned at the wicked thrust she received in reply.

"Fenrir." she moaned against his swollen lip, lost in the moment, and looked deep into his tumultuous eyes.

Fenrir barely suppressed a dominant growl, crushing Ashling against him as he exploded inside her. The couple collapsed into one another, bodies shuddering and gasping for breath.

"So," Ash rasped, running a hand through his dark hair and down the side of his scruffy cheek, "is that a yes?"


	2. Chapter 2

Of course it was a yes, a resounding yes! How could it not be? Had anyone actually said no to her for anything? Ashling was beautiful and sexy and oh my gods. He would have taken her a second time had the guards not been banging on the door to say his hour was up. Fenrir had thought his luck couldn't get any better when she'd happened along his makeshift deathbed and saved his sorry ass but he'd been wrong. Not only had she saved his life but for an encore she'd come back to save him from the soul sucking madness of life in Azkaban with a little bit of madness of her own.

The conditions of her arrival however, baffled the wolf. Fenrir didn't doubt that she could have had her pick of any werewolf, with or without a life debt, and find a more respectable man as a father, but she'd chosen him. Which begged the question, why? He was incarcerated for life and could truly offer her nothing more than the pup itself but Ash knew that when she'd come to him. So either she already had someone, most likely a werewolf, and they couldn't conceive or she didn't want anyone at all. Had there been a bite mark on her shoulder? He couldn't remember. Fenrir didn't know her from anyone but his intuition told him that she wasn't the type of person to make a pup with him and take it home to a boyfriend or husband. Was this an act of desperation or a cold, calculated move? Again, he didn't know her but it seemed like the decision to call in his debt hadn't been taken lightly, Ashling had been nervous, almost afraid of rejection. But why would someone caring enough to want a child be avoiding a relationship, if that was indeed what was happening. The more he thought about it, the more Fenrir wanted to know what the little temptress was up to and he _would _find out.

But until then he was going to enjoy everything the enigma of a woman was offering...and more. Oh it was a definite yes but the wolf had decided on some conditions of his own, he wanted a little more. Rutting Ash had been beyond amazing but he couldn't deny how good her hands had felt in his hair and stroking his cheek. Her hands were soft and warm, just like her eyes had been that day in the woods. Half feral for most of his life, he'd never experienced anything like that. Fenrir hadn't known he'd been missing such things but now that he knew, he would chase them relentlessly.

* * *

One picture, that was all she could stand to look at. Just one and not even one of them, just him. Seeing them together and happy was just too much. But that night Ash could barely stand to look at it. She hazarded a glance as she slunk past his picture on her way to the shower, as if Sean would somehow be able to see her through it from the great beyond. Her husband was two years gone and yet Ashling still felt like she was being unfaithful. In her logical mind she knew these feelings were unfounded and yet the feeling plagued her. What would he think of her if he knew what she'd done? But that was unfair because if he was around to know what she was doing, she wouldn't have had to do it. She missed her husband dearly but if she didn't move on with her life in one way or another now, it was never going to happen. But actually going through with it was much harder than she'd anticipated.

In the bathroom Ash stripped off her clothes and discarded them in a crumpled pile. Her clothing and skin still bore the musky and far too alluring scent of Fenrir's body and she needed to wash herself clean before the guilt ate her alive.

With a sigh Ashling settled herself beneath the stream of hot, soothing water and tried not to think, but that only lasted a minute or two. Physically she was going through the motions but her mind was a million miles away and still somehow being pulled in two distinctly different directions. There was of course the sadness and guilt over Sean but try though she might, Ash couldn't stop thinking about Fenrir. He was the worst kind of man, a deatheater sentenced to life in prison but gods he'd made her feel sexy, wanted and above all alive. The soap stung the bite marks adorning her swollen breast, making her shudder with excitement at the remembrance of his hot tongue licking it clean. God, she needed to stop thinking about the wolf. He wasn't supposed to be anything more than a sperm donor, at least that's what she'd told herself for almost a year. But if she were honest with herself he was so much more, Fenrir was the man who would make her dream come true.

No, no, he was a man who owed her a debt and he was a practical pick because of his...circumstances. He was a lifer, not that he'd want much to do with a child anyway, and she could go her own way with the baby she'd always wanted. Fenrir was a means to an end, nothing more. But then there were the claw marks on her hips from his frenzied desire and even hours later beneath the heat of the water, her skin still felt like it was on fire wherever he'd touched her. Get a hold of yourself, Ash huffed, tugging on her soapy hair in frustration. She needed to reel her emotions back in, she was lonely and hadn't made love since Sean died. Not that they had made love! It was sex and nothing more. It had nothing to do with Fenrir or any charms she'd imagined he had.

After her shower, which left her feeling still slightly dirty, Ash donned her pajamas and drifted across her cozy, one room cabin to make herself some tea. She did it the muggle way, filling her tarnished whistling tea kettle with water and setting it on the stove. Then she pulled out three of the potion vials the mediwitch had given her, strong prenatal vitamins, a fertility booster and finally dreamless sleep. Ash waited until her tea was ready to suck down the overly sweet, thick concoctions and settled down in the recliner to relax. She'd tried to wean herself off the dreamless sleep but it seemed like she'd need it more than ever now. She needed to leave the day behind, tomorrow would happily provide its own set of problems.

* * *

"Sooooo Greyback." Fenrir sat up on his cot and looked at the two guards darkening the door to his five by five cell. Houseman, the younger of the two, smirked at the wolf. Houseman was a pretty boy, the kind that lured women into his bed day and night and Fenrir loathed him. "Who was that fiiiiiine piece of ass you had visiting you?" he purred, raising a perfectly sculpted brow.

His partner, Matthews, frowned disapprovingly and elbowed him in the ribs, which was ignored. Matthews was more of a grandpa type, quick with the wand but should a physical altercation arise the man was toast. He was the one guard that didn't harbor a complete disdain for the prisoners, whether they deserved it or not. Fenrir didn't necessarily like the man but respected him.

The wolf's lip curled in a sneer, eyes burning into the worthless Houseman and slowly stalked over to the cage door. Despite their steamy encounter Fenrir had already decided that he didn't think of Ash as just some piece of ass. The high esteem he used to hold himself in had been knocked back a few rungs after a years worth of nothing but self reflection. Now he honestly thought that the woman had lowered her standards and wasn't about to tolerate some spineless pretty boy insulting her.

"That was my wife, not some piece of ass." he growled, fists curling around the bars. "Give her the respect she deserves."

Matthews winced at the "admission" and flashed his partner another disapproving look. Houseman however was not impressed and snorted in disbelief.

"Anyone to have doings with you, deserves no respect from me." he replied with bored disdain. "But if that was your wife, why haven't we seen her until now?" he didn't believe for a second that the lesser creature could snag himself any type of wife. She was probably just another hotshot lawyer.

"Not that it's any of your business but she decided to forgive me."

Another snort, followed by a contemptuous eye roll.

"I don't buy that, _wolf_."

"Enough." Matthews spoke at last, grabbing his partner by the elbow. "Stop antagonizing the prisoners."

Houseman grumbled but allowed himself to be guided off, not before giving Greyback another sneer however. He missed the flash of the wolf's eyes to their feral yellow, never knowing how much hell he would catch if Fenrir ever got loose.


	3. Chapter 3

Ash was admittedly equally as nervous for their second meeting as she was for the first. What would happen? Did they make small talk or did they just get right to it? She didn't really want to talk, had made enough of a fool of herself drooling all over Fenrir like some wanton slut. Maybe he wouldn't even want to talk and trying to start a conversation would just make her look needy and would overly complicate an already complicated situation. And the last thing she wanted was to become attached to him, the thought actually made her heart beat a little faster in angst.

She signed her name on the visitor roster with shaky hands and checked her wand with the clerk. They had anti-apparition wards up but a prisoner could find plenty of other ways to wreak havoc and escape. Only guards and aurors were allowed to keep their wands. Ash smiled uncertainly at the woman behind the counter and made her way to the waiting room. It was small and stuffy and she wondered if their cells felt as claustrophobic as that room. She was grateful when the guard came to collect her not long after, the more time she had to think, the more nervous she got. It was by miracle she'd worked up the courage to go through with the plan at all.

The guard waved her over and led her down the same dreary hallway as last time with the dirty walls that used to be white. Was there a rule that everything had to be depressing in Azkaban? Wouldn't want the visitors to spread too much cheer to their loved ones, Ash thought to herself..._not_ that she was visiting a loved one. The guard smiled at her over his shoulder as they turned right at the end of the hallway. Wait, hadn't they gone left yesterday?

"It may not be any of my business Mrs. Greyback but I'm glad you're here." he said kindly, instantly seizing her train of thought in its tracks. Mrs? "As I'm sure you know not all men behind bars are so awful as the public would like to think."

Halfway down the hall he paused at the first doorway, hand to the knob. What was going on? And why was he calling her Mrs? Ashling opened her mouth to respond but couldn't even form a thought, let alone a word, and it just closed automatically. The guard nodded to the door.

"I just know that I wouldn't want my wife having to sit in some uncomfortable room where all the devil's deals are made. So I took the liberty of moving you to the room the aurors use for overnight visits." he smiled again, an encouraging but almost pitying smile as if he felt bad that she had to be there at all.

"That's very kind of you." Ash croaked, finally finding her voice as he opened the door for her to enter. "Thank you."

She barely got the door closed behind her, eyes not even getting a chance to adjust to the dim lighting before being thrust up against the wall by his much larger frame. Ash squeaked in surprise but it was partially drowned out as Fenrir covered her mouth with his in a hungry kiss.

"Welcome back." he whispered and began kissing his way down her neck, hand kneading her breast.

Ash instantly forgot all the lectures she'd given herself as her hands smoothed their way up his muscled chest, skin still damp from a shower. The wolf's skin smelled clean and fresh, giving her a distinct desire to bring back his manly scent, mixed with a little of her own of course. From there one hand moved south to stroke his erect cock through his only piece of clothing.

"Are you happy to see me?"

Fenrir nipped her neck ever so slightly when her hand found its way into his underwear and she moaned. It was going to leave another mark but the pain was so sinfully sweet, Ash didn't care.

"Would you like me to show you just how happy I am to see you?" he growled, grabbing the hem of her dress and lifting it off over her head.

He didn't give her a moment to reply, hoisting Ash over his broad shoulder instead and carrying her towards the bed in the corner of the room. The wolf slipped her sandals off on the way, carelessly tossing them aside. He set her down gently on the edge of the bed, eyes drinking in the beautiful picture she made. Her fiery mane was slightly tousled from his rough greeting and framing her face as she looked up at him with hungry eyes. Ashling looked so perfect in her black lingerie, panties just grazing her hip bones, the strap of her bra slipping down her arm, that he took a long moment to ingrain the moment into his memory.

"Whatcha lookin' at?" she purred, reaching behind herself to unclasp her bra and tossing it at him when she'd freed it.

That was all the motivation it took for Fenrir to move on. He stripped off his underwear and gently pushed Ash down so that she was stretched out atop the plush quilt like an Irish goddess. Her body shuddered with excitement as his rough paws trailed down the sides of her body to peel off her panties. He held them beneath his nose for a moment, breathing in her intoxicating scent and making the witch ache from his animalistic display.

"Mmmm, you definitely want me to show you." he declared huskily, before discarding the garment.

Ash crooked a finger at the wolf, silently inviting him to come play, and spread her legs a little wider. Fenrir knelt on the bed and hunched down between her quivering thighs, one hand on her belly so that she laid down flat. As his face drew closer to her hot core, Ash started slightly. This was much too personal, it was supposed to be sex, just sex.

"Fenrir," she squeaked when his lips on her lower lips sent shivers of desire up her spine. "Maybe we should just…"

She tried to sit up but he grabbed her hips and pulled her back down to his face, breath hot against her sex.

"No." she protested weakly.

Ash had promised herself that she wouldn't let things get personal, she was not ready for that, but there he was between her legs ready to give her the second most meaningful kiss one could give. Gods how desperately she wished to not want it.

"Shhh." he soothed, fingers spreading her lips. "You don't want your wolf to go hungry, do you?" His eyes shone brightly with the light of the small bedside lamp, lending him the true look of a predator.

Ash's only reply was a shuddering intake of breath as his tongue took its first taste, licking all the way up before making small circles around her clit. All of her protests were obliterated when Fenrir's flicking tongue made its way downward and wormed itself into her center, hot and demanding. Fenrir groaned as she clamped down on his tongue, he wanted her so damn badly but was determined to take his time. He needed to see Ash undone, to taste her honied nectar sliding across his tongue and experience all the little things he'd deprived himself of.

Ash's fingers slid down her body and wrapped themselves in the wolf's locks, needing something to cling to as he worked his tongue in and out rapidly. A loud moan escaped her rosy lips when Fenrir's calloused thumb began roughly massaging her clit. His moan sent vibrations shivering up her sex and a few more thrusts of his strong tongue was all it took to make her back arch and her expletive to reach his ears and the nectar to cross his lips.

Fenrir climbed his way up her body and slid his hardness inside her still quivering center, releasing a raspy prolonged moan. With his first thrust, the wolf mashed his lips, wet with her juices, to hers in a passionate kiss. Ashling wrapped her arms around his neck and rolled them over so that she was astride the wolf and not missing a beat began rolling her hips against his. The sight of the witch impaled so gloriously on his cock was almost more than Fenrir could handle but he managed somehow to hold back. His hands roamed her silken skin, her thighs, hips, up over her ribs and finally her full breasts, the left wearing his love bite. Ash was gone, completely lost in ecstasy as she braced herself, one hand to his sweat glistening chest, the other behind her with one finger rubbing the base of his cock. Her hips worked a little faster, a little harder, drawing out deep growls and moans from the wolf that she greedily wanted more of. She placed both hands to his chest and scratched her nails all the way down to his waist, leaving a trail that she hoped he'd see come morning and would make him ache for her.

This time it was Fenrir that called Ash's name as he came hard, grabbing her abused hips to hold her tightly to him. The feel of his hot cum sent Ash crashing into another climax and she collapsed onto his chest writhing in pleasure. Fenrir's arms encircled her as they came down, bodies a tangled mess of limbs, and practically melted into the soft kiss she pressed against his lips.

It was right then that the wolf knew he was lost.


	4. Chapter 4

"I should go!" Ash suddenly declared, startling Fenrir out of a half sleep.

She was still locked in his strong embrace, body curled up against his own. They were cuddling and the realization threw Ash into an instant panic. No, no this was bad, this was the last thing she wanted. She bolted upright, adrenaline coursing through her veins, only to be pulled back down with a little chuckle.

"Oh no you don't. We need to talk."

"Talk?!" with some difficulty, she managed to put a few inches between their bodies and blinked up at Fenrir. "What's there to talk about?"

No talking, her inner voice was screaming, talking is always about feelings and feelings are **not **allowed. How would Sean feel if you developed feelings for Fenrir? Ugh, stop thinking about Sean, Ash silently scolded herself. Shouldn't she be able to move on, to have a life? Fuck, it was too much to think about.

"I have a few...conditions." he announced, carefully watching her reactions.

"What?" Ashling growled, hopping up onto her knees to glare down at him. "You didn't say anything about conditions."

Fenrir shrugged lazily and folded his arms behind his head.

"You distracted me."

She felt deceived, he realized, watching her lips purse and her nostrils flare angrily. Fenrir hadn't meant to but he guessed that he had done that, she _had _distracted him though.

"You were distracted because you wanted to be! Out with it then, what are your _conditions_?"

The wolf pursed his own lips together to keep from smiling at the sarcastic air quotes Ash employed. He wouldn't have imagined enjoying an angry woman laying into him but Ashling was pretty damn cute.

"You stay for the entire hour, each and every visit. No taking advantage of me and then skipping out right away." he paused for some sort of reply but didn't get more than a blink. "You come even when you're not in heat…"

"No!...why? This is all about a pup and if I can't get a pup during that time, I don't need to be here." Ash huffed. What was he trying to pull? "Does this have something to do with you telling the guard I'm your fucking _wife_? Why would you do that?"

Another shrug in reply. Of course it didn't matter to Fenrir, he didn't have a life outside of Azkaban, he didn't have anyone else to consider. Ash's head was buzzing with thoughts of Sean and scolding herself for pretending that he was still alive. She should have known this was going to happen, there were always strings attached and emotions to consider. She pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling a headache coming on.

But she wanted this child more than anything, it would be worth it in the end, it had to be.

"They asked who you were...should I tell them instead why you're really here?" Fenrir asked, wagging his brows.

Ashling huffed discontentedly. Having them know that would be mortifying and a deatheater was just the type of man to go through with that threat.

"Fine, I'll stay the entire hour but I'm not coming every single day when I'm not ovulating."

The wolf squinted up at her, considering how much he really wanted to compromise. Fenrir needed to consider the long haul and the fact that he didn't want to lose her right away after she got pregnant. Maybe it was just his loneliness talking, maybe it was just her magnetism, but either way he was feeling attached.

"Every other day then and every full moon whether you're due here or not." he sat upright and leaned in close. "Trust me, that visit will be worth your while."

Damn it, he was doing this just to spite her. But what was she going to do if Fenrir backed out? There was no way she could do this again with another man, just the thought of it alone made her feel like a whore.

Ash sighed in defeat. "Is that all?"

Fenrir's heart was doing flip flops inside his chest, he had won, she wouldn't be leaving anytime soon.

"I want to see you a few times while you're pregnant and meet my pup at least once."

Ash looked at him for a long moment like someone who couldn't believe what they'd heard, simply couldn't comprehend it. Her lively, intelligent eyes went completely blank and then a shadow passed over her features in the blink of an eye and she was back.

It wasn't the look or the stinging slap that wiped the smile off his face but the declaration that followed.

"I hate you Fenrir Greyback!" she growled, lip curling in disgust before seeming to wilt altogether and then burst into tears

She leapt off the bed somehow finding her clothes through a haze of tears and hurriedly dressed. Fenrir jumped from the bed, badly wanting to hold her or find some words of comfort but nothing more than a retraction of his statement would have done that and he wasn't willing to let go. Not that there was much of a chance anyway as Ash was gone in a heartbeat, hand covering her mouth to hold back the sobs.

* * *

Ash only made it to the apparition point outside of the prison before completely breaking down. She collapsed onto her butt right on the pavement and just rode out the barrage of tears, hands covering her face in grief and shame. Why was he doing this to her? Why hadn't he told her up front so that she could have had a chance to back out? Instead he waited until it was too late, knowing how reluctant she would be to move on, what shame it would bring her. What was she supposed to do now, not return and just pray that she was pregnant? The chances of that were quite low. Ash and Sean had tried for almost a year without success, though his failing health may have been to blame. She should have found someone else but that would have required a. Telling that man the truth, b. Sleeping with multiple men to avoid having to tell said man the truth or, c. starting a relationship, which she just wasn't ready for. Fenrir was a criminal, he was used to unsavory dealings, which had seemed perfect as her plan wasn't exactly wholesome, but by trusting him she'd inadvertently set herself up to pay a hefty price. Ash knew that if she was unwilling to form a relationship with anyone or start over with another man she had no choice but to comply with Fenrir's demands. But where would it end, would he continue to make more stipulations? Suddenly Ashling had visions of visiting her own child, deatheater jr., in Azkaban, having taken on the ways of its father after years of visiting him behind bars.

After a long while Ash's tears dried and she began to calm and think more rationally. And she realized, with a little glimmer of hope, that the wolf didn't hold all the cards. Once she was pregnant there was nothing forcing her to return. If he didn't keep to his word, why should she? The thought of deception made her a little uncomfortable but it was a bargaining tool if push came to shove and it would be a last resort. Should Ash not return, there wasn't a damn thing Fenrir could do about it.

* * *

Fenrir flopped down on his cot and immediately regretted it as one of the loose springs skewered him right in the spine. He shifted around a bit but couldn't get comfortable and quickly gave up. Who fucking cared anyway? He was an ass, a complete piece of shit. Around him the men were talking and banging on the bars, riled up for gods knew what reason and he was ready to rip through the bloody bars and shred them all to bits. How was a man supposed to bloody well think?!

Shit...no wonder Ash hated him. Yep, not only had he made Ashling cry, she'd said she hated him. She hated him and the knowledge cut way deeper than he would have thought. He should have said something, _anything _to make her feel better. Just take a hit to his pride and admit how bloody lonely he was, he'd seen the sadness in her eyes, she would probably understand. Fenrir had also seen the internal struggle in her eyes when she'd come to him, the battle between her maternal instincts and the preservation of her integrity, but had still pressed on with his selfish needs. The wolf raked his hands down his stubbled face and groaned. The fuck was wrong with him? He needed to see her, he needed to make things right. He would have to back down on at least one of his demands. Fenrir loathed the idea but if he didn't, she may abandon her dream, and him in the process, altogether. It had to have been asking to see the pup that pushed Ashling over the edge. He'd remembered to look this time and she hadn't had a claiming mark on her shoulder, which meant to him that she had no man at home. She must simply have wanted to be alone then, which was both the stroke of luck that had brought her to him and a gigantic roadblock.

One thing was for sure, he'd had the right of it avoiding relationships all those years, not that their arrangement was what one would call a relationship...yet. I'm getting too carried away, Fenrir told himself, Ash doesn't want me. He tried to think back to his most meaningful connection with a woman and drew a complete blank. He couldn't remember his mother at all, wasn't sure if he had sisters. There had been a few females in his pack but as alpha he'd only cared about rutting with them to progress the pack and satisfy his needs. All his life Fenrir had relied on his instincts to get along but suddenly that safety net was gone and he didn't know what to do.


	5. Chapter 5

Fenrir opened the door tentatively, heart beating like a jack rabbit, though he wasn't sure why. How bad could it be? Ash was here. She'd been late, over an hour late and for a time the wolf had been half out of mind. He'd paced every inch of his cell floor, she's coming, no she's not, she's definitely coming...no, Ash hates me. Fenrir felt like a teeter totter, up down, up down... why did he want this again?

But now she was there, on the other side of the door and Fenrir found himself uncharacteristically nervous. This visit had to go well or it may be the last and what would he do then? It wasn't like he could just owl the witch or write her a muggle letter. He paused for a deep breath and wiped the sweat from his brow, here goes nothing.

The room was dim, same as the day before but the mood was vastly different and it reeked of uncertainty and sadness to his sensitive nose. Ash, who had been pacing the floor, paused mid step, halfway across the room, looking completely lost. When their eyes met her mouth opened and then very slowly closed without speaking. Despite the awkwardness and uncertainty, the wolf found himself distracted by Ash's appearance. The other days she had been done up a little sexier, a dress and heels or fancy sandals, her hair bound up but today she was different, more natural and sweet, like when they'd first met. She wore a simple light summer dress and low top sneakers, no adornments or distractions from her natural beauty. The dress was made of a light blue gauze material that fell down to her knees and she just looked amazing, simple and understated but amazing. Her long, straight hair was free flowing and cascaded down over her shoulders and back, just begging to have someone run their fingers through it.

"You look beautiful." Fenrir blurted before he could stop himself.

Ashling looked down at her white sneakers, hands twisting in distress. He was pushing the boundaries of her comfort zone, one of the rare women that was beautiful beyond words and clueless to it.

"Th-thank you." she murmured and though she was still looking downwards he spotted the blush staining her high cheekbones.

Ash was taken aback by the compliment, though not unpleasantly, figuring he'd like her better in her more alluring attire. She'd purposefully dressed like her normal self for that day's visit, it made her feel more confident and Ash needed every little bit she could muster. Today would be on her terms no matter the outcome.

"I'm glad you came." he said softly, walking a few steps into the room.

"I don't know quite what to say after yesterday…" Ash had once again practiced everything she'd wanted to say but had still found herself floundering and tongue tied the moment Fenrir arrived. The way he was looking at her, like an oasis in the heart of an arid desert, made her own mouth go dry and her heart thump madly.

"You don't have to bring the pup here." Fenrir interrupted, unsure if he wanted to hear her thoughts on what had happened or on himself for that matter. After what he'd said, he needed to prove to Ash that he wasn't just some self-serving predator, that he could keep his word and provide for her.

Fenrir closed the distance between them and swept an arm around her waist to halt her almost instinctual retreat. He knew what Ashling needed that day, something less emotionally intrusive, and though it was the complete opposite of what he wanted, he would give her everything she needed just to be inside her, hell just to be near her.

"Maybe we should just not today." Ash said softly and looked up into his eyes almost pleadingly, begging him to not let her feel like a fool again. She still didn't know what to think, mind reeling over words and actions, wants and needs, not knowing if he spoke the truth but badly wanting to believe it. If Fenrir relented on his demand she would be free to go without the guilt of deception.

"Oh no, you're not leaving." the wolf growled, sweeping her along and roughly pushing her front first against the wall. "Today is the day I rut my pup into you."

Ashling stood frozen as he pressed himself against her, hardness prodding the small of her back, half in shock and ready to deny him and half ready to rip her panties off. When animal magnetism was spoken of, it had to be Fenrir they were talking about. Fenrir kept her tight against the cold painted brick as he discarded his shirt and undid his pants. Before him was the rare gift of a woman who loved wolves and their ways and he unwrapped it, dropping her panties down around her ankles. He pulled her leg up, cradling her knee in his right hand, groaning when Ash hoisted her dress up and gave him a splendid view of her bare ass. Fenrir couldn't resist giving it a stinging slap, drawing a low moan out of the witch. He lined himself up with her wet core and thrust home, barely holding back on his full strength. Fenrir's paw snaked up her body and beneath her bra, squeezing Ash's breast and allowing his claws to dig in as he worked inside her. She leaned her head back against his broad shoulder, arms encircling his neck and the vision Ash made almost made the wolf come undone. Her eyes were closed in ecstasy with just a hint of flutter from her eyelashes, plump lips slightly parted to allow her praises to reach his ears, cheeks flushed pink from the heat of their bodies.

There were no words spoken, nothing but moans and growls of pleasure, fears and uncertainties were replaced by instinct and need. For a short time they were wild and free in the way wolves were meant to be, in the recesses of each other. When they climaxed it was together and it was amazingly fierce, leaving them panting, glistening with sweat and aching deliciously. Afterwards, when the wolf had caught his breath, their bodies still pressed firmly together, he leaned down, pushed on Ash's leg until she lifted it and snatched up her panties.

"And I'm keeping these." Fenrir rasped in the hollow of her ear, sending shivers down her spine, and stuffed them into his pocket.

He lifted a brow, daring Ashling to try and take them back but she simply gave him a look, biting down on her lip to suppress a little grin.

* * *

Today hadn't been that day it turned out, nor the few after that. And then came Ash's period and with it a barrage of tears. Though she had experience with the monthly disappointment of not conceiving, it never got any easier. Unlike all the other times however, there was no Sean to console her and to share the disappointment with. Next to the loss of her beloved husband, nothing had ever made her feel so empty inside as the absence of that life. There were no consolations, no chocolate or food would do and no arms to be folded into. For a brief moment Ashling's emotions got the better of her and she wished Fenrir wasn't locked away.

* * *

"This is highly unusual ma'am." the tall, spindly guard insisted, trying to make his eyes look anywhere other than her red rimmed ones.

"Please." Ash plead, pulling the cloak tighter around her pajama clad body. "I just need to see my, my husband."

"It's after midnight." he replied plaintively, face scrunching up in indecision, but she could already see that he was going to fold, not that she was taking no for an answer anyway.

"Please." she pressed, making sure to catch his eyes. Ash was desperate, the bleeding, cramping, crying and alone sort of desperate. There was no one else to go to. Even dreamless sleep, something that had never failed her, hadn't put the witch out of her misery.

The guard sighed, shoulders sagging in defeat.

* * *

"Greyback!"

Fenrir bolted upright with a gasp, eyes popping open but still blind as he searched for the reason of the abrupt awakening.

"Let's go." the voice came again and he finally narrowed in on the night guard standing by his cell door, wand in hand.

The first thought that came to mind was 'what the fuck have I done' but the wolf had been nothing less than a model citizen since Ashling came back into his life. And then the door screeched open bringing his second thought, 'did something happen to Ash'? But no, he was the very last person they would notify even if anyone outside of Azkaban knew she was visiting him. Regardless, Fenrir was already up on his bare feet and following the stiff guard down the cell block.

"What's going on?" he hissed, hoping to avoid waking any more wankers than they already had.

The guard simply shrugged in annoyance and lumbered on towards the stairwell. Fenrir's heart kicked up as they descended the stairs, knowing that it had to be Ash, there would be no other reason for this walk. Fuck, she was pregnant and probably coming to announce that the deal was off, so fucking happy to be rid of him that she couldn't wait until morning. But the moment she stepped into the room he knew that couldn't be it. The look on her face spoke volumes, red rimmed eyes with dark circles beneath them and carefully pursed lips trying desperately to still a quivering chin, there was no baby. But to Fenrir's surprise he didn't feel as much like celebrating as he had anticipated. Despite the fact that this meant he'd get to keep her for at least another month, Ash looked so crestfallen that it made his chest constrict uncomfortably.

Any thoughts of 'what am I doing here' and 'this was a mistake' went out the window when the door had closed behind her and Fenrir was within sight. He didn't ask any questions, just met Ash halfway and simply opened his arms. He was half dressed, no shirt and no shoes, looking wholly unprepared for an emotional display but somehow managed to do the exact right thing. Ashling wilted into the wolf's muscular arms and seconds later burst into tears. When her knees buckled, Fenrir scooped her small frame up and carried the witch to the armchair in the corner. There they sat in silence, Ash taking comfort in arms as scarred as she felt. Her hand clamped down over the jagged mark on his left bicep, squeezing tightly as she cried herself out in the core of his equally marred chest. The ache in Fenrir's chest began at last to ease when Ash's crying subsided to sniffles, her tears drying on his skin beneath her cheek. He continued stroking her rose scented hair long after she'd drifted off to sleep, feeling both contented and proud. His arms had been used for a lot of things, lifting, running and yes killing, but never for comfort. They'd never tossed squealing children into the air or hugged a loved one hello and until that night Fenrir would never have believed them capable of it. He pressed his lips to the top of his temptress's head in a soft kiss and resisted the urge to sleep for as long as possible, thanking his lucky stars that the guard seemed to have forgotten about them. He wanted to remember every moment.


	6. Chapter 6

Mortifying, completely fucking mortifying. What had she done? Begged the guards to see her fake husband, made a fool out of herself in front of said fake husband and spent the night in his arms, that's what she'd done. Ash had pretty much thrown staying indifferent out the fucking window with her actions. More than anything though she'd laid herself bare to a predator, a move that a wolf would instinctively pounce on.

Ash resisted the urge to jump up and flee like a wounded animal. Instead she gingerly lifted one possessive arm, setting it aside and biting her lip slipped out from beneath the second. It was wrong to just abandon Fenrir in his sleep when he equally vulnerable as she'd been the night before but she just couldn't face him. Yet again she'd made a fool of herself when she was supposed to be the one in charge, the one on the outside with the upper hand. Ash wouldn't even have to worry about his natural instinct for exploiting the weak, she was doing all the work for him. What a bloody mess. The wolf stirred slightly when she rose from his lap but didn't wake and Ashling couldn't help but let her eyes linger on him for a moment. He was far handsomer than a man like him had a right to be, not in a pretty boy sort of way, but ruggedly handsome. Sean had been beautiful and bright as the morning sun with his blonde hair and gleaming blue eyes, while Fenrir was dark and haunting like a walk beneath the moon on a cool foggy night. Besides the obvious lycanthropy, both men shared a trait, though she couldn't pinpoint precisely what it was, something that made her want to bare her belly and submit for no good reason. And truly Ash couldn't think of one good reason to consider a life with Fenrir. She'd been diligent in researching his past and hadn't found one redeeming feature, aside from the advantage of his incarceration. Ash could see little sparks of that man during their encounters but not nearly as much as she'd expected. But even if a man was able to change his evil ways, she was too damaged to try again.

Ash sighed and averted her eyes, exasperated with herself, and slipped from the room before any further damage could be done.

Eyes to the floor, the witch collected her wand and slunk from the prison. She apparated home simply to put on some clothes and despite forgoing a shower and not packing a nibble of food, was still late for work. Fuck.

* * *

"You look dreadful, like death. Yeah, you look like death, not even warmed over a little."

Ash looked up from her computer and gave her office mate, Libby, a wicked scowl. Her blunt honesty knew no bounds. There was no malice in her words but on such a regretful morning they stung deeply. Libby was the closest thing she had to a friend in Great Britain and honestly the closest thing she wanted to a friend. She was sweet and fun but Ash had no interest in the closeness it took to be true friends and even less interest in the nightlife Libby loved so very much.

"I feel dreadful." she admitted, letting her shoulders sag.

Her pelvis was aching like mad, almost insult to injury after her stupidity and it felt like the dreamless sleep from the night before was finally catching up. A large stack of paper would have done nicely as a pillow just then. Libby perched herself on the edge of the desk and frowned.

"Talk to me Ash, what's going on?"

Though she hadn't let on, Libby could tell that something was troubling her friend as of late, as aloof as she normally was. Ash had been quieter than normal in the past weeks, which was saying something, and her eyes always seemed to be looking off into the distance.

"Just a rough period." she replied glumly with a shrug. It was partially true at least. Ash hated lying, especially to someone so sweet.

Libby frowned again, clearly it couldn't have been her period for the entire last month, but decided not to challenge her. She knew that in all likelihood the secretive redhead wouldn't tell and pushing her would only achieve making her deeply uncomfortable. Instead she decided that a piece of advice would suffice, with a little dash of hope that Ash would open up.

"You should just do what I do, two potions." Ash raised her brows at the woman's knowing smile. "One to rid me of my period and the other to stop ovulation, don't want any surprises!" she ended in a sing-songy voice.

Ash paused for a long moment, her weary brain suddenly firing off one rapid thought after another. Her heart thumped excitedly at the thought and the possibilities it presented. Between that and the fertility booster she was already taking, she could get pregnant in half the time. No more waiting for the right week to come and it would eliminate the awkwardness of fruitless visits. Could this be the answer to her prayers or was it too much to hope for?

"So if you don't take the second one are you just constantly ovulating?" she queried, wrinkling her nose as if the idea was loathsome.

"I think so." she replied with a thoughtful nod. "Why...is that something you might worry about?" Libby demanded excitedly, scooting her bottom from side to side in a little wiggle dance.

Libby was blonde, bubbly and had the kind of personality that even if she wasn't stunningly beautiful, men would still flock to her side. If she wasn't so nice, she would be downright hateful, though a lot of women still resented her on account.

"I mean...um not currently." Ashling floundered, a heated blush lighting up her cheeks. "But you never know, right?"

It was useless, she was transparent as a ghost.

"Mmm hmm, right." her coworker agreed with a look that said anything but. "I'll give you the names when we go out to dinner tonight." Lib proclaimed cheerily and hopped down from her perch.

Drinks she probably couldn't get Ash to agree to, but dinner, everyone had to eat dinner. Ash opened her mouth to argue but closed it again knowing that the social butterfly had already moved on to the planning phase of their night. With a swish of her skirt, Libby was off and probably going to research a new restaurant the moment her butt hit the seat. There would be no getting out of it if Ash wanted the names of those potions and she did, badly. But maybe a little outing would do her good, it had been a long time since she'd eaten dinner with anyone, not just date wise but _anyone._ She was far too mortified to visit Fenrir, despite the deep guilt that had settled in her chest at having run out on him, but didn't at all want to be alone all night...alone and lonely.

Being what he was and how the world viewed werewolves, Ash and Sean had spent the majority of their time in the dwindling woodlands of Ireland. He'd simply wandered and slept wherever he'd ended up before meeting Ash but soon after they bought a small cottage to settle down in. Each year it seemed there were less and less magical creatures, whether they had been hunted or migrated somewhere with more forestation Ash didn't know, but it meant that most of the time it was just the two of them. Even with their aloof lifestyle however the couple had never been truly alone, as cliche and sappy as it sounded, they'd had each other. The plan had been children, of course, four of them and when they were old enough to not be worried about on the full moon, Sean had been planning to turn her.

How easily and swiftly life had slipped through her fingers.

* * *

"Where am I supposed to move again?" Fenrir asked, the pawn dwarfed beneath the shadow of his large hand.

He observed Ash as she sat across from him on the bed, legs crossed beneath her, the board between them, and tried to hide his frustration and boredom. Fenrir was humoring Ash by playing chess and they both knew it, but on the flip side, she was humoring him by showing up during her bleed. He sort of wished the visit was on his account, but knew it was out of dedication to her dream. Neither one of them had mentioned their midnight encounter nor the disappointment and yes the little pinch of hurt he'd felt from her disappearance. That was as humiliating to him as the desperateness of the visit was to her. Fenrir had left his share of women behind but it hadn't mattered because it was a rut, animal instincts, with no attachment whatsoever. This witch was going to be the death of him.

Wearing a brilliant smile Ash had immediately told him about the new potion, though it hadn't yet taken effect, but the wolf wasn't quite sure what to think of it. Fenrir was still stuck between the idea of being some perverted sort of hero by giving her a pup, and satisfying his own needs by keeping Ash coming back. His mind had been so wrapped up in the witch and all the newness she brought with her, he hadn't even had a chance to ponder the pregnancy itself. He'd never even considered what it would be like to hold a child in his arms or watch it grow and now he didn't want to think about it because he'd never see those things. There was self loathing aplenty for him but no pity, his deeds had caught up to him.

The witch shrugged in reply. "Let me look at the directions again, I've never played this before." but if she was going to visit, a concession she'd made to his demands, they needed something to do that didn't involve sex. "You can move forward one space and when you're ready to capture, you can move diagonal." Ash read aloud, meeting his steel eyes over the booklet for a brief moment. They were impassive, making her wonder what the wolf was thinking. He hadn't seemed very receptive to her amazing discovery and frankly it was worrying. Would Fenrir try to throw another wrench into her plan, make up some new rules or demands or god forbid call it off altogether? No, she wasn't going to think about that, she had to stay strong or get eaten alive. Inwardly Ash smiled at the memory of Sean's nickname for her, mac tire dian, which meant fierce wolf. And she was fierce, she had to be.

"Here goes." Fenrir forced a smile and moved one square forward.

Chess, he was now reduced to playing chess, when he wanted nothing more than to be buried balls deep inside Ash and then wrapped up in her limbs. Was this what good men did? Probably, but he wasn't a good man and knew it well...so why in the fuck was he doing this again? Because despite popular sayings, nice guys didn't always finish last, assholes who were attentive only to their wants and desires did. Fenrir had had difficulty naming the feeling that she gave him at first and still wasn't sure about it but whatever it was, he wanted Ash to experience it too. He wanted her to grow attached to him, maybe even love him, that was one reason to play chess. But also he was doing it because he was _that _asshole and wanted to fulfill his desire, which was keeping Ash around as long as possible. So if playing silly games was the key, then he'd play the pawn in their little game of give and take.


	7. Chapter 7

"Checkmate." Fenrir growled, driving his cock hard into Ash's fiery depths from behind.

"Show off...ungh god…" she moaned loudly with his next thrust.

What do I get if I win, he'd asked cheekily at the beginning of their second game night. Not a damn thing, she'd insisted that night and the next, through straight losses on his part. Overconfident and thinking the wolf would lose yet again, on the next visit she'd finally agreed to let Fenrir choose his prize.

His strong hands slid up the underside of Ash's body, on her hands and knees before him, the chess board forgotten beneath her, pieces scattered to and fro. She pressed her ass back against him demandingly when he paused mid-thrust to fondle her breasts and pluck at her erect nipples. There was a saying that anything more than a handful was wasted but they were wrong, a man needed a little something extra to dig his claws into.

"You shouldn't have left the rules with me." Fenrir taunted, using his hold on her breasts to pull her roughly into his next drive.

Chess, his new favorite game.

"You stole those!" she accused, unable to hide her shock.

Ash turned her head to give him a 'disapproving' look just as he twisted his hips slightly and thrust again, giving Fenrir the distinct pleasure of watching her expression change from one of shock to one of ecstasy. The wolf leaned his shins against the bed frame and bowed himself over her back, enjoying the feel of her round curves and the way they fit perfectly to his hips with every thrust.

"Soooo you won, whatever will you do with me?" Ashling purred, reaching beneath herself to squeeze his firm balls, suddenly finding herself wanting to be dominated by the crafty wolf. He'd wanted her badly enough to steal and study the boring chess rules, making her a conquest of sorts. And the excitement she felt over that fact had no equal.

The wolf grunted in surprised pleasure but didn't let the shock slow him down. Ash squeaked, equally surprised, when a large, calloused hand suddenly wrapped itself around her throat from behind and pulled her upright. For a long moment Fenrir didn't move or say anything, cock still throbbing deep inside her. Then a low, rumbling growl bubbled up from his muscled chest and he thrust powerfully once.

"You're mine little temptress." he growled, sending excited shivers up Ash's spine. His free hand scratched its way down her torso, leaving a trail of blazing, red tracks down to her pelvis where he roughly shoved a finger between her hot, moist lips. "Say it."

The finger began slowly curling against her clit, beckoning the witch to do as he pleased. Despite the urging of her pleasured body, Ash wasn't ready to succumb to Fenrir, she wanted more. She wanted to see him as hungry and desperate as she felt.

"I'll say it when you earn it." she challenged, turning her head to meet his lustful, wanton eyes.

"When you're begging me to let you cum, you'll say it." Fenrir growled huskily in her ear and nipped her neck hard enough to draw blood.

He withdrew and roughly pushed Ashling down flat on her front, shoving her knees forward, submissive now before the alpha. Once again she'd awoken his beast and had it been a full moon he would have marked her then and there without a second thought.

One of the kings rolling around on the bed caught his eye and Fenrir couldn't resist rubbing his win in a little more. He snatched it up and dangled it before her eyes for a moment before easing it into her tight core. Ash drew in a sharp breath at the cold invasion piloted by hot fingers and moaned his name almost unconsciously. Gods it felt so bloody good and her body was trembling with the need for release. Without her even realizing it, he'd made her forget everything she was and wasn't supposed to be doing and the degree of separation she'd ordered herself to keep. All of it gone, swept away by his arousing nature, slipping further and further by the day. She reached back for his large, rough hand, desperate for friction but he grabbed her wrist and pinned it to her back.

"Touch me Fenrir." she pouted.

She loved his hands, the way she felt every slight movement as they rasped across her naked flesh and how they demanded a response from her body.

Behind her the wolf chuckled. "I can't touch what isn't mine."

He pulled the king out, to Ash's immense dismay and placed a soft, teasing kiss on her ass cheek. Never in her life had she wanted so desperately to be touched, manhandled and fucked. The need was overwhelming and she knew he was going to make her beg. She tried to push herself up, wanting to entice Fenrir, to stroke him, to take control and climb him if she had to, but he shoved her back down. He leaned down, breath hot against her spine and licked his way up.

"You know what to say beautiful…" he prompted in a voice that was both hard and soft, goading and tempting all at once.

"I'm yours." she softly conceded, unable to stand the yearning a moment longer.

Fenrir clucked his tongue against his teeth in a sign that she hadn't done good enough. "Louder." he demanded, lips ghosting over her flesh this time.

"I'm yours!" the witch growled in reply. "Fuck me, now Fenrir now."

And then there were hands on her hips, pulling her back against a rock hard, throbbing cock. Her heart fluttered as Fenrir thrust home again and again, driving Ash into an explosive orgasm before spending himself in her quivering folds.

* * *

Hours later he still couldn't get Ashling off his overwrought mind. Gods, the things she let me do to her, he thought, eyes rolling back into his head, no one had ever been so trusting or so fearless in his presence. Had Fenrir wanted to, he could have crushed her windpipe without batting an eye. Ash was no fool, she'd known it but he hadn't sensed or smelled a whiff of fear on her perfect body. How could one woman so easily reach the utter opposite ends of him? With seemingly little effort she tugged at heartstrings he hadn't known existed and in turn drew out his beast form. She reached every spectrum, from the warm fuzzies to his cold possessiveness and didn't even know it.

Ash...I have feelings for you.

No, that was weak. I have feelings for you...ok, what kind of feelings? Tell her what kind. Except he didn't know what kind, he lacked the words that came so easily to others. Before Ashling, Fenrir felt either like or dislike, mostly the latter and it was usually _extreme _dislike.

I care about you Ashling.

No, he couldn't just out and say it like that. Clearly she didn't desire the warm and fuzzy nuclear family or she wouldn't have chosen him. Fenrir sighed and briskly rubbed his scruffy face in frustration. He'd been staring at the damp, mildewy ceiling for hours hoping for answers, the talk from his cellmates nothing but an annoying buzz in his ears. But the dungeon-like atmosphere spoke everything _except _the language of love.

Love?

There was a word that had never crossed his mind, or his lips for that matter. Was that what he was feeling?

No. No, whether it was or not, he couldn't say that word to Ash. She would run screaming. And yet his mind refused to let the word go and it just bounced around his brain mercilessly. Love.

I love you Ashling.

It sounded utterly ridiculous in his head but it sort of _felt _right at the same time and gave him the extraordinarily uncomfortable feeling he'd been suffering since he'd met her. Still the thought persisted, Ash felt right, perhaps the feelings she evoked were right too.

* * *

What? No. No, no, no, no! When had the fucking glamour failed? Ash stared at the reflection of the bruised, swollen flesh on her neck in absolute horror. It should have lasted all day, her spells never failed. Oh fuck, had anyone seen it? Yeah, of course they had, it was glaringly obvious. Teeth marks with bruising around them, a hickie from their second go around; because somehow Fenrir always managed to find out what drove her insane; and several sizely fingerprints. That would be why Tomas had looked at her like an alien and avoided eye contact for the rest of the day. The witch took a deep breath and closed her eyes, hands gripping the edge of the sink like a lifeline.

"What am I doing?" she asked aloud.

Granted, it was too personal a thing to be as clear cut and cold as she'd first promised herself it would be. Clearly having sex and making a child _was _a very personal thing, no matter how hard she tried to convince herself otherwise. But this was going too far, love bites and hickeys? They were acting like teenagers. You have to stop this, Ashling told herself, you have to stop this before something drastic happens...like feelings. But then her mind slipped off, as it always did, thinking about his warm embrace and how good it felt to be…cared for…

Fuck. Cared for? Yes, Ash confirmed after a long moment of thought, she really did feel cared for when they were together. The way he held her and stroked her hair, the soft gleam in his steely eyes that was beginning to look like it belonged there. And just that morning she'd caught herself actually looking forward to seeing Fenrir.

But as always, Ash was of two minds, though she was abnormally reluctant to face this half, and knew that _care for _was a relative term with a man like him, a killer, a criminal. How capable was he of having actual feelings? He probably didn't care for her at all, he wanted sex, wanted to feel normal behind bars, something any woman would have done for. Maybe he was hoping Ash would get sentimental and fight for his freedom, he was just using her. That line of thinking didn't seem unreasonable. She couldn't judge him for that, because she was guilty of the very same thing, but it meant that he didn't have feelings for her. Inexplicably, that thought hit her like a fist to the belly and she floundered as the air was forced from her lungs, stunned and hurt.

Ash sucked in a raspy breath and let it go in a deep sigh, ashamed of the tears stinging her eyes. Why did this have to be so hard? For all her thinking and planning and promising, nothing was turning out the way it was supposed to. With Sean everything had been so simple, so straight forward, so true. Life with him had been wonderful, ups and downs had been navigated with honesty and guided by his calm demeanor. Of course, Ash hadn't been closed off or damaged like she felt now. Also that relationship hadn't been built on having a baby to repay a debt with a career criminal…

Aaaaand she was back at the beginning of the thought rotation from hell.


	8. Chapter 8

Ash was coaxed out of a deep sleep by the tickle of hot breath blowing on her ear. She grumbled a little and batted backhanded at the face just over her right shoulder.

"Awww so grumpy." he teased, catching her flailing hand and kissing it. "It's a good thing you're beautiful."

"It's a good thing you'd look awful with a black eye." she threatened, rolling over.

But her pretend scowl faded as she brushed her tangled hair out of her eyes and was sucked into Sean's. Ash smiled in earnest at the sleepy grin on his face from where he knelt at her side. It was the kind of grin that always made her weak in the knees, he was so handsome. The morning sun was lighting up his white-blonde hair and he looked almost surreal.

But no, he _wasn't _real, Ashling realized with a start, and bolted upright. She stared at him for a long time in disbelief asking herself the same question over and over. How? Sean shouldn't have been there, she'd mournfully committed him to the ground herself in St Gobnet's Wood. He's not real, she told herself, heart thumping out a stuttered rhythm, Sean isn't here. She squeezed her eyes shut and took several deep breaths, but when they reopened he was still there.

"Sean...how are you here?" she breathed, eyes wide and unblinking as if he might vanish.

As many times as Ash had dreamt of him he'd never felt so real, so close.

Her husband blinked in confusion, gently stroked her cheek with his thumb and cupped her chin. Despite her alarm, Ash sighed softly and leaned into his hand. It was warm, familiar and oh so comforting, it felt like home.

Sean tilted his head to the side in question. "What do you mean baby? I live here. Are you ok?"

"No, you've never lived here Sean. You...you're...a year and a half you've been gone." she stuttered, reaching out to run her fingertips over his stubbled cheek.

He opened his arms in reply, as tears washed down her cheeks in a torrent and Ash fell into them. Sean stroked her hair as she cried and cried, with seemingly no end, and rocked her slowly.

"Don't cry Ash, please don't cry. It was just a bad dream."

"Why did you leave me?" she whimpered.

He wriggled a hand between them and lifted her chin up to look into his beautiful eyes, a look of utter confusion woven into his features.

It had to be a dream, right? Sean couldn't really be back, it just wasn't possible.

"I never left, what are you talking…" he trailed off as his blue eyes suddenly sharpened and narrowed in on her neck. "What happened to your neck?"

Taking Ash by surprise, he squeezed her jaw and jerked it upwards, eyes scouring her ravaged flesh. The witch floundered for what to do or say, Sean had never ever been violent towards her but the look in his eyes was murderous. Her mouth opened and closed wordlessly as her brain tried to catch up with the goings on.

"I said what the fuck happened to your neck?" he growled, fingers tightening painfully. Enraged, he whipped her head first left, then right, his pale face growing an alarming shade of red. "That's a hickey." he declared, shoving her backwards into the headboard.

With an angry yell, Sean leapt to his feet and began pacing the floor as Ash looked on, horrified. It couldn't be him, he didn't have a violent bone in his body and his body...it was in the ground. She knew that with complete certainty but it still looked and _felt _like Sean. Ash suddenly felt desperate to placate him, beg, plead, anything to make him understand and forgive her.

"No, Sean, you don't understa…."

"You cheated on me!" he roared, pointing an accusing finger.

"No, no, you were dead!" Ashling shook her head in denial, tears falling anew. "I would never…"

"Whore!"

She scrambled forward, reaching for her long lost husband but he caught her arm and wrenched it, sending her tumbling towards the hardwood floor…

* * *

Ashling woke when her fall was abruptly broken by the cold floor, head bouncing off of it with a sickening, painful thud. Her cheeks were wet with tears, though she was no longer crying, too stunned and heartsick to do anything. Sean was gone, again, she didn't even have to look around to know it, Ash could feel the emptiness like a cold rock in her chest.

A whore, her one true love had called her a whore. And she was, wasn't she?

* * *

Fenrir knew immediately by Ashling's scent that something was amiss. Though she almost always smelled like sadness to him, that day her scent was grave and dark, like a distant storm on the horizon. Her back was to him when he entered, slightly hunched as she hugged herself. Oh, her bleed again, was his first thought but then he remembered the new potions Ash was taking. Second thought, had he done something wrong?

"Ashling?"

She turned to face him, eyes red rimmed and puffy from crying. Her beautiful, porcelain skin was a sickly white. His first instinct was to hold her, which seemed appropriate after last time, but she instantly backed away.

"What's wrong Ash?" he asked, hands still out in space reaching for her.

"We can't do this anymore." she told him, despite how badly it hurt to say the words.

The hard truth, something she hadn't even admitted to herself until she looked at him that day, was that she didn't want to let Fenrir go. But she still couldn't shake the feeling of unfaithfulness. Not wanting to let him go made everything all the worse, that was never supposed to happen! In her tumultuous mind she didn't know if Sean had come to her via dream as a reflection of her inner thoughts or out of some otherworldly volition.

"Why not?" he demanded, feeling helpless before the only person that could bring him to his knees. "What about the pup?"

"This isn't what I want." the witch breathed, making him grateful for his superb hearing.

"Then why do it?"

Fenrir knew very little about making sacrifices and denying oneself what they wanted. Things like that just didn't make sense, he'd always lived for himself and did what made him happy. But his irish goddess made him want to understand. Slowly, as if trying not to spook a frightened animal, Fenrir reached out and took Ash's hand.

She opened her mouth to reply, then closed it again. He wouldn't understand, she barely understood it herself.

"You let yourself trust me enough to give you a baby, you can trust me with this."

Fenrir squeezed her hand reassuringly, bending down a bit to look up into her downcast eyes.

"I don't even know how to feel, let alone express it to someone else."

Ash pulled in a stuttered breath and bit her lip to stop it from quivering. She was on the verge of tears again, hadn't been able to stop crying since she'd woken on the floor that morning. Thank gods it was Saturday and she hadn't had to show her face at work, especially after the glamour incident the day before.

"I should go." she blurted, trying to pull her hand back but not receiving it.

Fenrir inched a bit closer and, still moving very slowly, wiped away her tears with the thumb of his free hand. He couldn't let her leave, if he did there was a high probability that Ash would never return. And what would he be then? Would he just go back to being a conscienceless killer rotting in prison? All the self meditation and revelations he'd made in the past year were nothing without something good to strive for and Ashling was that good.

"I think we should sit down and talk. If this isn't what you want, we should figure out what you do." he suggested, choosing each word very carefully. It wasn't easy to think with his heart racing and the blood rushing in his ears though.

She didn't say yes, but it also wasn't a no, so Fenrir slowly led her over to the armchair in the corner. As Ash reluctantly sat down, he dragged a wooden chair over from the small table and positioned it so that they were facing one another. He'd known a day like this had to come eventually but somehow the wolf was completely unprepared, cornered even.

"I want a baby, that's what I want." Ashling quietly announced, meeting his eyes for just a split second.

Nodding, "So what's making you want to not do this anymore?"

The words were there, at the forefront of her mind, on the tip of her tongue but Ash wasn't sure she could say them. To say Sean's name, to share their history, felt almost like giving a little piece of him away. Ash knew deep down that she needed to let him go and move on with her life but would he be lost to her forever if she did? Still, she owed Fenrir the truth. No matter what kind of man he was or had been, he at least deserved the respectfulness of knowing the truth.

"My husband." she admitted, wincing slightly as she waited for Fenrir's reaction.

"Ya...you're married?" he growled, trying to keep the shock, anger and yes, even some hurt, out of his voice.

He'd had her wrong this whole time? She was taking _his _pup home to another man?!

"Widowed." was all she could choke out.

And then the tears broke through the dam and Ash buried her face in her hands and sobbed, body shaking from the force of her grief. Fenrir froze for a long moment, unspeakably relieved that she didn't have a husband and feeling like an ass for it. But also he was feeling that constriction in his chest again and it hurt to see Ashling like that, even more than it hurt his pride to see her cry over another man.

Finally he snapped out of it and dropped down to his knees, pulling Ash closer so that her head was against his shoulder. And then it dawned on him, something he'd heard the wizards and witches lament about after the war, survivors guilt.

"Shhh, it's alright." he soothed, petting her hair. "You don't have to feel guilty Ash, you haven't done anything wrong."

"No, no, in my dream he called me a whore!" she sobbed, nails digging painfully into his shoulder blade.

"That's just the guilt talking, he wouldn't call you that because you're not." Fenrir told her, softly but firmly.

He didn't know anything about her deceased husband but knowing what little about Ash that he did, she didn't seem like the type of woman to put up with an abusive man.

It took her a few starts and stops to reply but she kept trying, it was get it out now or never. "I haven't been with anyone since S-my husband died but I just wanted a baby so bloody badly." Ash broke off for a long moment as she tried to rein in her sobs. "But now, now I feel like I'm being unfaithful."

Fenrir wanted to say that he understood, something about survivor's guilt being natural but knew she'd see right through his bullshit.

"I don't know much about feelings or love," he offered instead, "but I do know that you have a right to be happy Ash. If you were my wife, I would want you to be happy no matter what."

Ash's head snapped up and she stared at the wolf, mouth agape. She'd never heard him speak so kindly and passionately and it scared her a little how comforting his words were.

"I should go." she blurted, hastily rising to her feet and almost tripping over Fenrir. She needed time to think.

"Ash!" he called, as she bee lined for the door. "Wait!" She was leaving, he was losing her.

She paused, hand on the knob but didn't look back, confusion clouding her mind.

"I...I need to think."

"Promise me you'll come back."

Ash could hear the desperation in the wolf's voice but she could hardly breathe or think or anything. She had to go. She looked back for just a moment, then disappeared before Fenrir could convince her otherwise.


End file.
